“ Shifting our focus from our failings to the lessons we're learning will allowed our energy to flow from us and self belief to set in.”

How I Ended 2022 - Sprawled Out On A Sheet of Ice

The other morning I woke up -- not to beautiful fluffy snow -- but a sheet of ice covering my entire gravel driveway (typical Washington). My unsuspecting fur baby Maple was first out of the house. I let her out of her kennel and opened the door. She went RACING outside but within 3 steps, all 4 legs were swept out from under her and she slid sideways on the ice.

I was more careful, but that didn't matter. There was a solid half inch of ice covering the whole driveway that I had to cross to get to the chicken coup. I tried everything to keep my balance. I tried shifting my weight, sliding, taking small steps... that damn driveway put up a fight! I could see the neighbor looking out of their kitchen window at me so I put on a smile and prayed for grace and poise.

Try as I might, I slipped and slid across that thing, arms constantly exploding out of my pockets to steady myself, feed slipping and sliding, legs flying uncontrollably in different directions...

Why tell this story? Well... I want to give you a REALLY accurate visual of what I've felt like for a few months at the end of this year... How I thought I would end 2022. Sprawled out on the ice, unable to get to my feet, looking like a complete fool in a state of shock and hysteria.

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How to RECOVER From a Hard Season + Why Reflection is Key to Attract Success

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How To Recover From a Hard Season

Recovering from a hard season as a leader or business owner is no different from recovering from surgery or injury. It requires rest, effort, and support (sometimes meds too, if you're like me). It involves pushing yourself to do the simple, repetitive actions to get back to baseline, even when it's hard, it hurts or it seems unhelpful.

One thing I do on a monthly and quarterly basis is reflect on wins & lessons learned in my life. It's easy and fun to do this on months and quarters where I've done well.

This month, however, I did NOT want to reflect. I didn't want to see my failures sprawled out on the page. It's ALL I've thought about, so I didn't think I needed to write it all down on paper....

I thought it would be depressing. So I put it off for a week.

Steal My Monthly Reflection Ritual: Wins & Lessons Learned

There's something about putting your wins and lessons learned down on paper - writing them out - that lays bare the reality that can't be denied. It's a powerful thing.

Here's my monthly/quarterly ritual:

Each month and quarter, I write down 3 memories or results for a few categories that are most important to me, according to what I personally value.

Here are my categories:

• Health & Fitness,

• Self Care,

• Business/Career,

• Family/Friends,

• Finance,

• Fun/Adventure,

• Personal Development,

• Relationships.

Then I answer questions: What did I learn this month? What do I take with me into next month? What do I let go of?

Here's what it looks like in my planner:

As I started my little ritual, I was actually pretty surprised at how much spilled out of me. Within a few minutes, I was filling out the page with memories, moments, and couldn't help but notice many of them were WINS. Things I'd done RIGHT, that I was proud of.

I realized that I had WON in a few incredibly important ways. I had either forgotten these or didn't think they were notable enough to consider them as wins until now...

For example,

There were people I had forgiven and mended relationships with in the last few months (this has been YEARS coming)

I invested money and time in some valuable self-care including therapy and rest (much needed and something I've struggled with in the past)

I reconnected with some old friends over the holidays (so much fun - wouldn't have traded this for anything).

The adventure section (which is blank most months), was filled with memories of going up to the mountain to snowboard and getting caught in a storm overnight, having to get a hotel.

Note EVERY section was filled with positives... Under one category, I just wrote the words "FAIL" and didn't bother to list anything.

At the bottom of the page, the prompt required me to look at my lists and reflect on: What did I learn this month? What do I take with me into next month? What do I let go of?

I wrote: Even though I've failed miserably in one or two aspects, I am not a complete failure. I have succeeded in other areas of my life, which are just as important to me. Do not focus on failures, they will consume you and lower your energy. Instead know that each category is important and valuable for self actualization.

Attracting Success

We attract what we believe we're worthy of, we attract what we think about.

Shifting our focus from our failings to the lessons we're learning will allowed our energy to flow from us and self belief to set in.

Instead of focusing on falling, failing, focus on the wins and lessons learned.

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Dear small business owner,

Do you believe these things about yourself?

✨ I attract success

✨ I am worthy and deserving of success

✨ I lovingly allow myself to learn lessons with my failures

✨ I am courageous and willing to do challenging things

If the answer is no, spend some time doing your own wins & lessons learned ritual. Then spend a moment speaking these affirmations to yourself, dwelling on them them, and trying to believe them.

lots of love, BK